THE MYSTERY OF LOVE AND MARRIAGE

XXVII SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME: Gen 2:18-24

Taking Gen 2:21 literally, once some youths told me that men have one rib less, because it was taken to form the woman. It seems as if God acted like a surgeon, first inducing man (Adam) into a deep sleep and then operating on him to extract one rib. 

Instead of reading it in such a way, it must be understood as a story dealing with the mystery of love and marriage. The deep insights of this story apply to us as much as they did to the first human beings.

Reading the story, it comes to mind that God forgot something, and he realised it when he noticed that being alone, man was not happy. He lacked companionship and someone to share with. God put him in charge of creation and brought all living creatures under his care; but that was not the solution.

From the side means from the heart

From the side of man, God made the woman, meaning that relationship between them must be a relationship of love, and not one of dominion and exploitation. Reading this passage, we must remember that it was from the pierced and opened side of Christ that the Church was brought forth.

In Zambian traditional culture, the bride is taken to the groom and given to him. And that’s what God did, when he took the woman to the man.

Made of the same flesh, with the same dignity

Looking at the woman, man recognised himself as if he was seeing himself in a mirror. Indeed, “this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (Gen 2:23), meaning that she is what I am. Both men and women share the same dignity! Being of the same kind, they can be partners and they can join in marriage.

Throughout history, there has been plenty of discrimination against women, as if they were less human beings than men; but they are of the same flesh, the same bones and the same soul, with the same dignity and the same rights. The differences that exist between them are there to make possible a fruitful relationship of love.

The three earthen stones of marriage

Finally, in a short sentence, the writer of this passage expresses the basic requirements of a relationship of love in marriage: 

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.” (Gen 2:24).

In traditional mentality, the clay pot is a symbol of marriage, and it needs to be set upon three earthen stones in order to stand and allow the fire of love to transform what is inside.

• Leaving father and mother is the first step (the first stone). The spouse must occupy the first place. If the family left behind is more important than one’s spouse, the relationship will not last; and if it lasts, it will never be a happy relationship.
• Clinging to one’s spouse is the second and essential stone. It is the relationship itself based on mutual respect, dialogue, cooperation and sharing.
• Becoming one body means total communion in total sharing. The sexual relationship expresses and strengthens that communion, but being one body is more than just sex. Only true love can bring it about. 

This passage makes it very clear that marriage is between a man and a woman. Only such a relationship is according to God’s plan and God’s will.