SUPPORT YOUR PARENTS IN THEIR OLD AGE

THE FEAST OF THE HOLY FAMILY - Sirach 3:2-6,12-14

There is a Bemba proverb, widely used, that summarises the traditional wisdom about the relationship between parents and children. Mayo mpâpa, na ine nkakupâpa, that is: Mother carry me and I will carry you. Towards their children, the parents have the duty of protecting and caring for them. They must provide the most basic things until they can stand on their own and take responsibility for their own lives. To bring up children is a burdensome work for the parents. However, the love they have for their children gives them the strength to endure all difficulties. As the children grow, the parents must step back and allow them the freedom to find their way. Some parents go on treating their children as babies, thus keeping them dependent and unable to stand on their own and make their own decisions. However, when the parents truly love their children, they have to let them go and become themselves. That’s why, as they grow up, all children pass through a phase of revolt, in which they affirm themselves. The parents who are attentive and care for their children know that their relationship towards their children has to change into a strong bond of friendship between adults. And then the time will come when the children will have to carry their parents because they became sick or weak with old age. The book of Sirach deals very clearly with the duty of the children towards their parents:

“Whoever respects his father is atoning for his sins, he who honours his mother is like someone amassing a fortune.” (Sir 3:3-4)

“My son, support your father in his old age,

  do not grieve him during his life.

Even if his mind should fail, show him sympathy,

  do not despise him in your health and strength” (Sir 3:12-13).

Nowadays, it is easy to find many parents who are completely abandoned by their children. To care for their old parents is seen as a costly burden, which they are not ready to carry.

In the gospel (Mt 2:13-15,19-23), we hear how Joseph and Mary were ready for all kinds of hardships to protect the life of the child Jesus. In the middle of the night, they had to run away, so that they would not be caught by Herod’s soldiers. And they went to Egypt as refugees in a foreign land. Maybe, as a carpenter, Joseph was able to earn some money for the family to survive; but he could have faced as well the jealousy of the local people who could not be pleased with a foreigner taking their job. As soon as Herod died, they went back to their homeland, setting their house in Nazareth, in Galilee. There, Jesus grew up, learning with Joseph the trade of carpentry.