WHAT ABOUT DIVORCE?

XXVII SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME - Mark 10:2-16

In order to put Jesus to the test, the Pharisees came to him with a very clear question about divorce: Is it allowed? (Mk 10:2) 

The phrasing of the question and their reference to Moses’ permission of divorce, implies a stricter attitude on Jesus’ side towards divorce, and Jesus answer confirms that.

Justifying his attitude, Jesus contrasts Moses’ teaching with God’s plan and God’s will, and Moses’ teaching does not keep God’s plan for marriage. In his answer, Jesus quoted from the book of Genesis (Gn 2:24), making it clear that neither polygamy nor divorce respect God’s will for marriage. Jesus invited the Pharisees and he invites us as well to go back to the origins and to listen to God’s word and live by his commandment: 

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mk 2:8-9).

God’s plan and will for marriage are reaffirmed by Jesus and proposed as the ideal to all those who must struggle to be perfect as the Father is perfect (Mt 5:48). 

It is interesting that both twin churches - the Catholic and the Orthodox Church - present this ideal to the disciples of Jesus, and consider marriage as a sacrament, knowing that such an ideal is impossible to follow, but for the grace of God. When God is not part of the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage, and they remain alone in their daily struggle to be one, they are prone to failure.

Nowadays, divorce became a common feature of married life, because many are not ready to commit themselves or to make the effort to stay together. They enter the relationship in an attitude of self-centredness, caring only about their own well-being. It is not surprising that they cannot live together and that they end up in a divorce. And we are faced with the reality of many divorcees who come to Church and expect to receive and experience God’s mercy and compassion.

So far, the Catholic Church has been very legalistic in her approach to marriage, seeing the sacrament of marriage as a legal contract that cannot be broken. The ones who break it, are considered to remain in a state of sin and are permanently excluded from communion. All other sins can be forgiven, except this one. In the eyes of the Church, the only way to mend the situation and be allowed to communion is to go back to the first marriage, which in most cases is impossible. I had some people asking me: “There is no way out for us! We are going to hell! We can never repent and be reconciled with God!” My only answer was: God has his own ways! Put your trust in him, and he will find a way out. But the fact is that, in the community, they are excluded from many things, and they are always made aware of their sinfulness, no matter how committed they try to be.

With her legalistic approach, the Catholic Church has lost the dimension of mercy and forgiveness. The tradition followed in the Orthodox Church presents a different approach. While upholding the ideal of marriage, they remember Moses’ reason for divorce: “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you.” (Mk 10:5). Divorce is always a sign of being unfaithful and sinful. And so they allow a second (even a third) remarriage, after a time of repentance, offering a marriage service that has a penitential character. “Second or third marriages are performed by “economy”—that is, out of concern for the spiritual well being of the parties involved and as an exception to the rule, so to speak.” (https://oca.org/questions/sacramentmarriage/divorce-and-remarriage1).

The coming Synod on the Family will discuss these issues and we should pray that, guided by the Holy Spirit, they Church may find ways of revealing God’s mercy, while keeping faithful to his word and his will.