WHO IS THE BOSS IN THE HOUSE?

XXI SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME: Ephesians 5:21-32

Paul introduces his instructions about marriage saying: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21), basically saying that marriage must be lived in a relationship of love, and not in a relationship of dependence or subservience.

To be head 

does not imply dominion, 

but service.

Surely, Paul says that “the husband is the head of the wife”, but he is so in comparison to and in the manner of Christ, who “is the head of the church, his body” (Eph 5:23). And Paul advises the husband to behave towards their wives as Christ behave towards the Church. So the husbands must love their wives as “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph 5:25). In this comparison with Christ, to be head does not imply dominion, but service.  Being the head means that the husband must be in forefront, putting himself at the service of his wife, his children and his family.

According to an old tradition, still followed today in most households, the wife sleeps on the side of the wall, and the husband on the side of the door. This implies that the husband should the first to face danger, putting his life at risk in order to save his wife. This is the kind of headship that Paul talks about.

The position and role of the husband is one of total dedication, service and love, which must be reciprocated by a similar attitude from the wife. Paul speaks of obedience and respect on the side of the wife, which is balanced by total love and dedication on the side of the husband.